How to Make Your Sty Presentable in 10 minutes

Its a normal weekend, you're happily chilling out at your sty oops i mean room, & suddenly you get a phone call from your mum/dad/relatives/friends/anyone saying they're just round the corner & they wouold like to pay you a visit. WTF should you do?

No worries. Queen of sty-oops-i-did-it-again room keeping is here to give you some tips. Teehee.

Rule number 1. ALWAYS HAVE A LARGE EMPTY BOX AVAILABLE IN YOUR PLACE. What to do with it? Sweep all the stuff that's not exactly parent-proof inside the box or your guilty pleasure (ehhem i'm talking bout shopoholics here, not what you think ahaha) & duct tape it. Place it in the most deserted corner of your room & put a piece of fake address & fake name over it. If your parents ask, tell them you're keeping it for a friend because he/she ran out of space in their apartment. If they intend to open it, please yell: ' RESPECT MY FRIEND's PRIVACY!" Time needed: 2 minutes.

Rule number 2. Make sure you buy beds with frame which will conceal the bottom part of the bed but still enables you to open up the space. Sweep everything on the floor inside. If there's any extra space, keep those stuff scattered on your table too. Close up the frame properly & make sure no tiny details leading to possible suspicion is leaked out. Sweep the dust inside too =P, you can always clean it later ( yeah, right). Time needed to clear the room & sweep the floor? Approximately 4 minutes.

Rule number 3. Always buy a blanket big enough to cover your bed. Arrange ur pillows & cover your bed with a big blanket. Time needed: less than 1 minute.

Rule number 4. Laundry basket is ESSENTIAL. Make sure its not transparent. Lowest layer should be your heavy laundry. Followed by whatever you need to hide from your parents but you have no other hiding place to do it. Sprinkle your dirty undies over them. & topped by normal daily wear. Recipe of Perfection. Time needed: 1 minute.

Throw all the burger wrappers, booze bottles, pizza boxes in a large black garbage bag so they wouldn't nag about what you eat daily & throw it in your neighbours' garbage bin haha. Stalker bf/gf will not let go of that detail. Time needed: 2 minutes.

Lastly, always have an extra piece of decorative cloth, as big as possible & use it to cover whatever that can't be sorted last minute. Time needed: less than 30 s.

Now, Smile & greet them & pretend you just got up from sleep.


Good Luck.





I'm fucking mad. Nites.